Modern Family: A Generation of Al Bundys & Caillous

Like most parents, Erika and I spent hours and hours researching names for our boys before they were born.  We bought the books, bookmarked the websites, and combed through church history to try and find fitting names for our boys.  For our first son we chose the name Deacon which means “a servant leader.”  In our home, we place high value on leading by serving others because our leader, Jesus, set the perfect example (Matthew 20:16, 28).

For our second son we chose the name Emmett which means “hardworking.”  This is a quality that we believe our generation has lost.  Hard work is left for past generations and, like water, men today are seeking the path of least resistance in every area of life.  The motto of college graduates is “the day I find a job I love is the last day I will have to work.”  That sounds cute but it’s a shame when young men seek jobs they love over more challenging jobs that would allow them to provide well for their future families.  Since Emmett is only 10 months old he is exempt from hard work, but his 2 year old brother is already learning the disciplines of table manners, cleaning up after playtime, battling his sin with prayer and help from mommy and daddy, along with various other “duties” that are appropriate for a toddler.

Our present day culture as seen through the eyes of Hollywood is altogether void of Deacons (servant leaders) and Emmetts (hardworking men).  Instead, early morning TV shows promote boys like Caillou- a whining, complaining boy whose father and mother wear interchangeable baggy sweaters.  While evening TV shows promote either chauvinist men like Al Bundy’s character in Modern Family or passive men like all of his sons.  Where can you find a man who leads by serving and works hard to provide well for his family? 

Even in the church you won’t find many Deacons and Emmetts.  Instead, you will find a sea of Caillous and Al Bundys.  The problem is that most men don’t have examples of servant leaders or hardworking men in their lives so they don’t really know what this looks like.  Furthermore, when situations arise where servant leadership and hard work are both necessary, most of the time men sit back and watch the women in their lives (wives and mothers) step in to take the lead.

We live in a generation where men scoff at the notion of getting a second job even if the purpose is as important as making sure that mommy can stay at home to raise the kids.  Since when did men become exempt from working 2 jobs? 

Unfortunately, our culture and the church cater to Caillous and Al Bundys and, as a result, girls are raised to believe they need to be completely self-reliant because they are bound to marry someone who won’t be able to pull the weight of his own family.  Men are no longer expected to provide well for their families as 1 Timothy 5:8 admonishes, while women are expected to come to the marriage with a dowry (a nice car, current wardrobe, and no debt) and a college degree so that she can continue to provide financially as long as they both shall live. 

Deacons and Emmetts work diligently trusting that God will provide all of their needs through their hard work (Proverbs 10:4).  Deacons and Emmetts trust that God will use them to provide shelter, food, and luxuries for their families and that He will use their hard work to fund the church through tithes and offerings too. 

Staying true to my blog title, I think it’s about time to peer a bit deeper into the total depravity of men.  I believe the real problem is that all men are naturally born with either the DNA of Caillou or Al Bundy.  Like lemmings, all men follow each other towards the cliffs of passivity or chauvinism.  We either cling to mommy’s apron strings or we curse her out and become her greatest grief (Proverbs 17:25).  I challenge you to search all 300 channels tonight to find 1 actor who portrays the qualities of being both a hard worker and a servant leader. 

Erika and I chose names for our boys that, by God’s grace, they will learn to grow into.  Our hope is that they will learn at a young age to kill the little Caillou or Al Bundy that is growing in them, tempting them to be passive or chauvinistic.  As a grown man I know the effects of these sins when they are left unchecked.  If left unchecked these sins will grow with them and, like all sin, they will lead to death in their homes- death of fellowship with their bride, kids, and relationship with God.      

1 Timothy 4:16 challenges us to guard our life and doctrine closely.  In 1 Timothy 4:6-8 we are told to be trained in godliness, “for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.”  Learning to lead by serving and working hard is what we need men to do in their homes, jobs, and churches.  My hope is that men who follow after Jesus will follow his example so that our modern families will begin to reflect more attributes of Jesus and less attributes of Al Bundy, Caillou, Adam Sandler, Will Farrell, Mel Gibson….and the list goes on. 

A couple resources that will help to kill the Caillou or Al Bundy in you are Mortification of Sin by John Owen and Manly Dominion by Mark Chanski.

Books v iPhones

Do they have an app for that?  This is the question that every iPhone user asks themselves throughout the day.  Naturally, after a Christian buys an iPhone he looks for an app for the Bible (after he downloads the Redbox app, but definitely before the Dictionary app).

So why blog about iPhones and apps?  Lately I have noticed more and more people at Veritas substituting their Bibles for their iPhones.  It’s starting to creep me out so I’m using this forum to call people back to books before the iPad takes over and the art of wielding God’s Sword becomes as outdated as the NIV.

Last week I was reading John Calvin’s Institutes and I caught myself taking a moment to thank God for the gift of books.  I love to read works by Calvin, Luther, Edwards, and the like.  Their passion for the gospel is so vivid in their writings that I feel like I know these men even though we’re separated by half a millennium.  Sharing in an author’s passion is a universal emotion that any book lover can testify to.

If you love to read, especially the Bible, then most likely you already know that reading your Bible on a 2×3 inch screen is absurd. 

Christians practice the art of proving Scripture with Scripture.  So much of the New Testament references the Old Testament and learning to flip through Scripture to get the “whole counsel” is best done with an old fashioned handheld Bible.  Before I go any further I should mention that I have an iPhone with a Bible app so I understand the obsession of finding and using the newest and coolest apps.  The Bible app is useful when you need to reference a quick verse and don’t have a Bible anywhere around.  However, the app becomes a vice if it is yet another excuse to keep your Bible on your dresser.  When you want to read God’s Word if you grab your iPhone over your Bible then I have a few things to say…

1)      Practice makes perfect.  The more you practice leaving your Bible unopened on your dresser the better you’ll be at being biblically inept.

2)      Humans retain only 60% of what they read right after they read it.  There are some verses that we’ve all read hundreds of times yet still can’t quote exactly.  It’s not enough to just read.  We need to take notes, highlight verses that the Holy Spirit illuminates, and read verses in context (i.e. practice good hermeneutics).  You wouldn’t expect a college student to pass any classes if he only took notes on his iPhone, what makes remembering Scripture verses any different?

3)      Books have lasted half a millennium for a reason.  They are lightweight, portable, thin as a laptop; plus they come with protective covers, and can be translated into every language.  Oh don’t forget about instant access (no need to boot up) and the absence of viruses and freezing issues.  The pen and paper (scrolls) go back thousands of more years.  The iPhone hit the streets last year.  Don’t be so quick to chuck your Bible!

In short, a Bible app definitely has its pros, but if it becomes just another piece of technology that inoculates us from spending time with God in His Word then it’s as useless as the Dollar Store’s Bible on DVD.  If most of your Bible study comes from your TV screen, iPhone, radio, picture frames,  and Inn and Out cups then you might want to reconsider your methods.

Can I Hear God’s Voice?

How does God interact with his people?  Does God speak directly to them?  What’s more important – The Bible or the Holy Spirit?  These are all questions I hear quite often.  Hopefully you’ll find the words below helpful.  (I apologize for the awkward formatting… we’re still figuring this out).

We need the Holy Spirit

Unfortunately, the activity of the Holy Spirit gets minimized by many today and, sadly, the “minimizers” are often from churches like Veritas where sound doctrine is taken seriously.  It seems that a devotion to God’s Word sometimes results in a sort of “bibliolatry” (the Bible becomes an idol) where, as Wayne Grudem says, we worship the “Father, Son, and the Holy Bible” rather than the “Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit.”  The Bible is a book I can pick up or put down.  I can control when, where, and what I read.  The Holy Spirit however, is unpredictable and outside my control, which may explain why many of today’s control-hungry men downplay the work of the Spirit and we end up with books by Daniel B. Wallace called “Who’s afraid of the Holy Spirit?”  Let us not be a people who turn only to the study of God’s Word.  Let us also be a people who turn to the Holy Spirit, and plead for his activity in our lives.

We need the Word

Spiritually speaking, the Bible tells us we “see dimly” (1 Corinthians 13:12).  Spiritually, we’re like a far-sighted guy trying to read a fortune cookie without his glasses (1 Corinthians 2:12).  We should keep that in mind when we’re trying to define the ministry of the Holy Spirit.  We can’t just formulate our understanding based on subjective experiences and feelings.  We’re going to need some help, and that help comes through the teaching of God’s Word (Psalm 119:12).

To summarize, we need both the Holy Spirit and God’s Word.  They are co-conspirators working together for our good.  We need the Holy Spirit to understand God’s Word and we need God’s Word to understand the Holy Spirit.  They are inextricably linked in that the Holy Spirit wrote the Bible (2 Peter 1:21) and the Bible explains the ministry of the Holy Spirit.  They never contradict one another.  Never.  Consider these verses (parenthesis mine):

1 Peter 1:23

…you have been born again (a work of the Holy Spirit according to John 3:5-6)…through the living and abiding word of God;

Ephesians 6:17

and take the…sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,

John 15:3

Already you are clean (a work of the Holy Spirit according to Titus 3:5) because of the word that I have spoken to you.

The Word is powerful, no doubt, but the Word is powerful because it is written by God (specifically the Holy Spirit) and is His chosen instrument to interact with and transform His people.

How does God interact with His children?

There are books written to answer this question, so my response will leave much unsaid.  I’ll start with this direct statement and then break it down:  “God interacts with his people through the Holy Spirit and according to the Word of God (Bible).”

Through the Holy Spirit…

God interacts with His people through the Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit is God active.  When God does something, He does it through the Holy Spirit.  When he acts, he acts through His Spirit.  God the Father makes a decree and the Holy Spirit, in subjection to the Father, carries it out.  So when Jesus is baptized we hear a proclamation from God the Father, but it is the Holy Spirit who actually descends and rests on Jesus (Matthew 3:16-17).  Likewise, in creation, God speaks the earth into existence, while it is the Holy Spirit who actually hovers over the face of the waters (Genesis 1:1-2).

In the Old Testament, the Holy Spirit was active in, at least, the following ways:

• • • Molded creation into shape and gave life to men (Genesis 1:2; Job 33:4).
  • • Directed the course of nature and history (Isaiah 34:16; Isaiah 40:7).
  • • Revealed God’s Word (Nehemiah 9:20).
  • • Gave wisdom and understanding (Isaiah 11:2).
  • • Enabled men to act mightily (Judges 3:10).

In the New Testament, the Holy Spirit was active in, at least, the following ways:

• • • Sent by Jesus to be His representative and presence (John 13-16; John 14:18-23).
  • • Sent to teach and illuminate the Words of Jesus (John 14:26; 16:13).
  • • Regenerated sinners by revealing Jesus (1 Corinthians 12:3).
  • • Baptized believers by uniting them to the death and resurrection of Jesus (Colossians 2:12-15).
  • • Killed sin in the believer and conformed them to be like Jesus (Romans 8:13).
  • • Indwelled in believers as the very presence of Jesus (John 14:16-17; 1 Corinthians 3:16; Matthew 28:20).
  • • Gifted believers in order that they encourage one another toward Jesus (1 Corinthians 1:4-7).
  • • Convicted people of the truth about sin and Jesus (John 16:8-11).
  • • Secured believers in Jesus (Ephesians 1:13-14).

The above job descriptions are not exhaustive – The Holy Spirit does much more than this.  But notice the main difference between the Spirit’s activity in the Old Testament and the New.  His primary ministry then and now (the Christian era) is all about Jesus.  The Holy Spirit is self-effacing – pointing everything and everyone to Christ.

According to the Word of God…

As stated above, the primary way God interacts with His children is according to His Word.  Throughout the Bible we read of God interacting with His people not primarily by stirring emotions or feelings or giving experiences, but by directly speaking to them His Word (Abraham in Ur, Moses in the Desert, David in Jerusalem, Jesus in the garden, the Apostles in Judea).  Similar to the inter-testamental period leading up to Christ, we now wait for Christ again, not having the audible voice of the patriarchs, Apostles, or prophets, but, praise God, we have his written voice in the Bible.

Hearing God’s Voice

So does God (the Holy Spirit) interact with people by speaking to them?  Personally, I know many Christians who believe God speaks directly to them.  I frequently hear people say “God spoke to me,” or “God told me to do this.”  I’m skeptical.  Not because I believe God can’t speak to people, but because I believe He already has, through His written Word.

At the very least, I would rather people say “I feel God is directing me or leading me.”  To say “God told me” is to use prophetic language (prophecy is the direct revelation of God to a man) and prophecy, at least in the sense of biblical prophets, has ceased.

Ephesians 2:20-22

built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets (past tense), Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, 21 in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. 22In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.

No where in the Scriptures are we directed to “wait on God,” “look for a sign,” “pay attention to dreams,” “pray for a vision,” “receive a word from the Lord,” or “listen to voices.”  All the admonition in Scripture, especially in terms of discerning God’s will and direction for our life (which is usually when people hear voices), directs people to the objective truth of God’s Word.

Colossians 1:9-10

And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, 10so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.

Philippians 1:9-11

And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, 10so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, 11filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

Romans 12:2

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Now I’m not saying that God can’t do this.  He certainly can and, I’m convinced, he does at times.  I believe that God is able to communicate in dramatic ways to His people apart from (never contrary to) His Word, including extraordinary interaction through dreams and visions.  J.I. Packer’s words were helpful for me on this topic:

“Christians should not make rules for God.  God has, and can again, speak directly and personally to an individual.  But God does make rules for Christians.  So we should not expect that this is the ordinary way God communicates with His people.  Scripture constantly affirms that we discern God’s will by understanding that which has been revealed to us through His Word.  We should not wait and operate based on voices, dreams, and feelings that specifically direct us in a way that says God is communicating to me directly a piece of his secret, decretive will.”  (‘The Ministry of the Spirit in Diserning the Will of God’)

Does 1 Corinthians 14 teach that God still regularly communicates directly with His people?  Is that what prophecy is?

I don’t want to say that God doesn’t speak directly to His children.  But I would say this would be an unhealthy expectation (see Packer quote above).

While I do accept that God still has the prerogative and ability to speak directly to His people, I don’t think most of the activity in 1 Corinthians 14 is still going on today; I think it has ceased.  I would probably be classified as a ‘liberal cessationist’, or an ‘apostolic dispensationalist.’  In other words, I believe there were certain signs present in the first century (i.e. the tongues and prophecy we see in 1 Corinthians 14) that no longer take place.  They have ceased because their purpose was tied to the Apostolic dispensation while the Word of God was still being written.  They were given to validate the ministry and word of the Apostles as well as to validate the reception of the gospel to other people groups, other than Jews.  So that’s my short loaded answer for 1 Corinthians 14.  We can dig deeper in that if anyone would like to.

In a nutshell, here are the two views.  I lean toward cessationism:

Cessationism

The extraordinary gifts of the Holy Spirit, including prophecy, tounge-speaking, and miracle-working, have ceased subsequent to the apostolic period of the church.

Continuationism

All gifts, including the extraordinary gifts of prophecy, tounge-speaking, and miracle-working, are still active today.

While I subscribe to the belief that the apostolic dispensation had specific characteristics, some of which will not be repeated, I don’t believe that I can be certain that God has resolved to not speak directly to his people until his return (that’s what gets the word “liberal” tagged in front of my cessationism).

So I prefer the term ‘Apostolic Dispensationalist.”  The dispensation (time period) of the Apostles of Christ is finished, along with some of the miraculous characteristics.  Apostles of Christ and Prophets (in the Old and New Testament sense) do not exist today nor the miraculous signs that vindicated them.  1 Corinthians 14 is written to a specific church (note that Paul’s other letters written to broader audiences never mention sign gifts like tongues) to admonish them to properly facilitate signs and wonders that were taking place during the first century to vindicate the message of the Apostles until the age had passed and the canon of Scripture was complete.

What do I do with the “God experiences” people tell me about?  Especially when they seem believable, albeit subjective?

Personally, I listen and say “Wow.”  Sometimes, in my head, I’m thinking, “This guy is crazy.”  Other times I’m thinking, “God is amazing.”  There are a few things I think are worth keeping in mind when you hear stories of people hearing voices, receiving revelations, seeing signs, writing in the sky, throwing out fleece’s, casting lots, rolling dice, acting based on liver shivers, dramatic dreams, afternoon nap visions, random Bible verses, or open doors…

1. These are not God’s ordinary means of communication.  Again, even when we read of these occurrences in Scripture, they are always descriptive and never prescriptive.  Scripture never ties these experiences to our own decision making or discernment of God’s will.  Never.

2. We are fallen human beings.  We may be hearing voices, but they may not be from God.  I am a sinful man and can’t trust subjective experiences over objective truth; which leads to my next point.

3. These revelations are useless and unhelpful if they are contrary to, distract from, or supplant God’s Word.

Let’s assume someone has a feeling, dream, or voice from the Holy Spirit.  This voice will never interact with God’s people in a way that is contrary to God’s Word.  He won’t lead us into sin.  I know of one man who told his pastor “The Holy Spirit is leading me to get a divorce.”  Wrong.  (By the way, that pastor’s response was “I can’t argue with God”!).

As well, the Holy Spirit will not interact with God’s people in a way that supplants, or replaces, God’s Word.  Following a voice that tells you to kill someone should obviously not be trusted.  But what about a voice that tells you something good, or encouraging, or enlightening?  Surely, that’s from God.  But if this “good” experience subtly causes you to spend more time looking for subjective experience and guidance, and less time reading the objective truth of God’s Word, then that’s not from the Holy Spirit.  This “leading” sounds more like a temptation from Satan or a test from God.  Satan can be thinking, “If I can get this guy into his feelings and emotions he’s mine.  So I’ll give him a positive experience and see if I can cause him to trade in the boring antiquated Bible for spiritually exciting revelation!”

The bottom line is that when I hear these experiences I am skeptical, as I think we should be.  I know myself and my own sin and I know how easy it would be for me to get off track, put my Bible down, and start following my heart…. Right into Hell. We are not to base our decisions on any kind of assumed understanding of the decretive or secret will of God. “The secret things belong to the Lord our God and the things that are revealed to us and to our children that we might do all the words of this law” (Deuteronomy 29:29).  So our decision-making has got to be firmly grounded on the revealed will of God, which is the Bible.  So I think I owe it to my brothers and sisters to be lovingly skeptical and point them to the Bible.  Samuel Waldron puts it this way:

“And so do I believe that God by His Spirit may lay something on our hearts in a way consistent with the Word of God or bring something to mind that is already an implication or application of Scripture. Of course the Holy Spirit does that as part of applying the Word of God to us. But those promptings, before they are labeled the promptings of God, have to be examined and supported from the Word of God. I really think that the Bible teaches a system of decision making that is very objective in character…”

Summary:  The Holy Spirit leads and guides the people of God.  Christians should pray for this and expect this promise of help to be fulfilled.  However, we must qualify this leading with the truth of God’s Word.  We must reject any leading that is contrary to God’s Word.  And we must be wary of any leading that has a tendency to supplant (i.e. replace) God’s Word.

God is sovereign and he’s going to get us where he wants us to be.  Our job is to understand his revealed will as best we can, be in communion with Him, and live a holy life.  Make wise decisions, rooted in God’s Word.  If he blesses you with a dramatic revelation in accordance with His Word – rejoice.  But don’t expect it or wait for it.

I’ll close with the words of J.I. Packer as he summarizes, in his own words, the essence of the activity of the Holy Spirit in the Christian era…

“…Jesus of Nazareth, the Christ of the Scriptures, once crucified, now glorified, is here, personally approaching and addressing me…  [The Holy Spirit] is active, powerfully enlightening, animating, and transforming me along with others as He stirs our sluggishness, sharpens our insight, soothes our guilty consciences, sweetens our tempers, supports us under pressure, and strengthens us for righteousness… In himself as in His work he is glorious, meriting all the worship, adoration, love, and loyalty of which we are capable.”  (‘Keep in Step with the Spirit, page 49)

Blessed by God, Cursed by Daddy

Last week, I remembered a quote that really hit home when I first read it.  Unfortunately, I don’t remember the author or the exact quote but it went something like this, “Cursed is the home on the day the father does not read Scripture.”

Pastor Erik and I were talking the other day about how important it is as husbands and fathers to search the Scriptures for answers on a daily basis.  Erik said that single guys, husbands, and fathers alike have no excuse for not knowing the Scriptures.  Single guys have more time and fewer responsibilities so scheduling time to read the Bible is more feasible, while husbands and fathers have greater responsibilities which demand even more time searching the Scriptures for answers.

God has been very gracious to the men of Veritas.  God has chosen to give us a pastor who loves the Bible and who feeds the flock (you and me) every week from the pulpit; we also have other godly men who have spent years studying the Bible and who are available upon request to help.   God has also given us a great venue to discuss Scripture in the Fight Club.  Finally, and most importantly, God has given us His Spirit and His Word.  What a shame if we choose to follow the church in Corinth and use all of God’s graces toward us men as a license to remain ignorant (1 Corinthians 3:1-2).

The Veritas Fight Club has been a great source of encouragement for me.  It’s the only place where I can gather around a table with 25 men and hear Scripture verses coming from every side of the table.  Someone will bring up a topic and instantly guys will reference the first verses that come to their minds.  Within seconds, any guy can have a list of verses on just about any subject he has in mind.  It’s a gold mine for guys who are truly eager to know their Bible.  Guys who want to learn how to help row the Veritas boat (not content with being carried along by the strength of other men) will learn here- it’s our training ground.  This is where you can practice wielding your sword and building Proverbs 27:17 friendships.

Proverbs 4:7 says “The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom…”

So often, I hear Christian men say they can’t quote Scripture because they 1) don’t like to read, and 2) don’t remember what they read.  I wish these men would at least read (or download) Proverbs 4:7 and understand that studying the Bible is no different than studying anything else.  It takes time and practice.    

Veritas men – think about this…If you are up to date on your favorite sports team (something that changes weekly) yet you cannot quote one verse in Isaiah (something unchanging), then you are a curse to your family.  If you spend multiple hours per week on a hobby (including planning, dreaming, talking about, and driving to and from it) yet you don’t have a verse to give to your wife when she is struggling with her greatest sin, then you are a curse to your family.  If you spend your time updating your family on the daily “Fox News Alerts” yet you will not read the Bible to them out loud, then you are a curse to your family.  If you sleep in on weekends yet utter the words, “Please pray that I will find time to read the Bible,” then you are a curse to your family.  If you pick up a TIVO remote every day yet don’t pick up your Bible every day, then you are a curse to your family.  If you know your friends’ current Tweets yet can’t quote a single Proverb, then you are a curse to your family.  “Cursed is the home on the day the father does not read Scripture.” 

Generations who will carry on your family name are either cursed or blessed by what you do today.  Fathers, you can either plant a strong family tree that will be rooted in God’s Word and pass down a pure faith, or you can plant a tree in the sand that over time will be weak, dry, and useful only as kindling for when Jesus returns.  Do you truly get that?  One day your grandchildren will ask you about Jesus.  I hope you can quote Moses, Isaiah, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, and not pass down an unscriptural, uneducated answer – prepare now!  Today we are brothers in Christ and worship Jesus together.  Beware of going another day without reading the Scriptures because if you pass down that curse your children and your children’s children may try to tear down the very church we are trying to build.

As always, there is hope in the gospel.  If you recognize that you have the potential to be a curse to your family (we all do) then turn from these ways by reaching out for help (ask questions), praying fervently, and stop making excuses for not knowing God’s Word.  Even though we are Christian men, we are prone to laziness, selfishness, comfort over sacrifice, etc.  Consequently, we have to fight against ourselves if we are going to be a blessing to our families.